Living the double life

A short Hispanic girl with messy hair and freckles scattered across her face walks throughout the hallways of the school. Like many teenagers, she is heavily sleep deprived, however, her scenario is different.

Junior Brenda Tenorio has a part time job after school, but little do most people know, she actually holds three roles: mother, student and employee. Tenorio is the mother of a little boy named Mateo who was born on Jan. 4, 2016 during her sophomore year.

“My life changed entirely, my priorities are different…I mean school is still my number one, and I know that as long as I keep going through school and finish and get a good job or career then there will be a better future for [Mateo],” Tenorio said. “I also have to prioritize my time between him and school and also work so it’s just kind of stressful sometimes.”

Like many of her peers, Tenorio often struggles with time management, but unlike an average teenager, she has to think about her child as well. Not only is she a dedicated student, but also a mother who tries to provide the best for her son.

“I work at Corner Bakery in the Highland Village shops; I started last year in November,” Tenorio said. “Before I used to have two jobs at one time. I was a server, but the hours were very late so I had to quit because I just wasn’t spending enough time with Mateo. At school I just wanted to sleep during my classes.”

Even though she has the mindset of always wanting what’s best for her child, she recognizes sometimes the stress piles up.

“My main challenge sometimes is I always put [Mateo] first, but there are times where I still have things that I want and I have to be selfless,” Tenorio said. “It sounds stupid but sometimes I just want to enjoy a meal without hearing screaming or crying.”

Throughout this life-changing experience, Tenorio has been presented with a plethora of problems such as losing friends and struggling to manage her relationships, but she has never let anything stop her. Tenorio is still the flamboyant young adult she was before, though she has evolved in the way she presents herself to others.

“As a person, she’s a lot more outspoken and if she doesn’t like something, she’ll talk about it or tell the people to stop doing something,” junior Martha Sarinana said. “She has no filter like a mom, but it’s cool and she doesn’t take crap from anyone.”

Now that Tenorio has the added duties of being a mother, it can often be difficult for her to switch personas from parent to student.

“When you’re a mom, you don’t ever have time for yourself,” Tenorio said. “Sometimes I enjoy being at school even though I actually have to do homework or classwork because I kind of get a break and I can be me or just like regular Brenda. Even though I know I have that responsibility [of being a mother] in the back of my mind, at school my responsibility is just school work and the same goes for my job. It’s kind of nice having some space.”

Tenorio’s friends recognize how different she has become since having Mateo.

“She’s become a little more mature, she’s still energetic, but she’s more responsible than she was before and she just cares more,” junior Karla Guzman said. “She’s still fun and outgoing and optimistic and she still does what she needs to do, she’s just become more mature as a mother.”

Tenorio is not alone when it comes to taking care of her son; Mateo’s father who is also her boyfriend of three years, Michael Davila, shares equal responsibility and custody. For them, sharing this responsibility means switching between who will take care of Mateo. In order to properly support his family, Davila recently enlisted in the Army for three years active duty and signed an eight-year contract.

“Michael was really determined to start a foundation to support me and Mateo and we just went with the process and then eventually it just kind of hit us that he’s being enlisted,” Tenorio said. “I told him that whatever he chose, I would support him.”

The birth of their child has changed both of them immensely. They have had to mature quickly in order to properly support Mateo, and this has in turn reorientated their relationship toward a more goal-focused partnership.

“[Our relationship has] actually changed a lot; before Mateo it was great but we would argue about dumb stuff like jealousy,” Tenorio said. “Then after [Mateo] was born, my attention went from [Michael] to all on Mateo. I had to, for the sake of our relationship, pay attention to [Michael] too. I mean it was obviously all about Mateo cause he was our baby, but I couldn’t also just focus on Mateo and put aside our relationship, that would’ve been bad. We’re good partners because that means we want what’s best for Mateo.”

Not only has Tenorio’s romantic relationship with her boyfriend changed, but also the many relationships she has with her peers that she encounters every day.

“I used to have a lot of friends, but once I had Mateo – even before I had Mateo, nobody wanted to come near me,” Tenorio said. “Now I just only talk to a really limited amount of people.”

However, dramatically cutting down the amount of peers Tenorio socializes with at school had little impact on the way she thinks about school or herself. If anything, she now knows who her true friends are and has an intricate group to confide in.

“We eat lunch together all the time, and she’s funny so we laugh,” Sarinana said. “She’s a mom…she acts like a mom. She’s a great person. She’s more responsible and she’s thinking more about her future.”

Tenorio is able to say that she is now learning the ropes to living a double life. Like many teen mothers, Tenorio has gained new insight on her beliefs, specifically the value of life.

“I changed a lot,” Tenorio said. “I’m not going to say that I’m more mature because I still play around with my friends, but I can say that I’ve grown as a person. I see the world differently now.”