I sit in my chair listening to my friends around me as they discuss next year, college and dorms. They are planning the places they’ll go and the things they’ll do.

I don’t want to try to say anything because I’m afraid I’ll start crying if I open my mouth.

I don’t want to think about the fact that they are some of the only people I’m close to and soon they’ll be gone.

They are off to have more adventures and I’m so happy for them. I feel bad because I’m thinking about myself. It’s their time to shine, but I can’t help but feel like I’m getting left behind.

When I started the year, I didn’t think having a friend group comprised of mostly seniors would be a problem, but as we reach the end of the year, I’m starting to realize just how wrong I was.

We may occasionally annoy each other, but we’re a family. A family who is soon going to be in separate zip codes, making new memories with new people and slowly forgetting everything we did together. I’m not ready for that.

It’s not my last year, but it is ours. Our last class together, our last editors meeting, the last time we’ll have meaningless arguments that don’t end when the bell rings.

The last time we’ll laugh together, eat lunch together, text each other at random times about things that make absolutely no sense to anyone but us.

The last time I’ll talk to them, laugh until I cry with them, tell them everything is going to be OK. The last time I’ll hug them, smile at them as we pass each other in the halls, and wave goodbye at the end of the day.

We’re approaching the last goodbye I’ll ever tell them and I’m not sure when it comes time I’ll be able to get the words out.

I’m not looking forward to my first day of senior year because school just isn’t going to be the same with all of them gone. I’ll have to walk into my classes with a fake smile on my face and pretend nothing is missing.

Having a support system of people who’ve been through everything I’m currently going through helps more than I know how to put into words, and now I’m going to have to go through my senior year alone.

I call myself the annoying younger sibling; you love them but sometimes you can’t stand them. I know I irritate them, but they’ve helped me through so much and it’s going to be hard to say goodbye.

It’s going to be hard, but it’s not going to stop me from clapping until my hands hurt for each of them at graduation. While it’s going to hurt to lose them, I know they’re off to do great things.