I remember the day during sophomore year She told me She liked Him, how Her face lit up after She told me His name and how nervous She was to talk to Him. As Her best friend, I pushed Her. I just wanted Her to be happy. 

Which is why I can’t help but feel like it’s all my fault; as if all the cracks in my heart formed by my own doing. 

In the beginning, He told Her He didn’t want to be in a relationship at the time. She played it off that it was all OK, that’s just who She is. As Her best friend, I could tell He had hurt Her. 

Crack.

A couple days later, She sat me down and told me He’s dating someone. Someone else. Didn’t He just say He didn’t want to be in a relationship? Then it clicks. He didn’t want to be in a relationship with Her.

Crack.

To be expected, Him and His fling stopped seeing each other in less than a week, which gave Her new hope of getting Him. I didn’t push Her this time. I hated the idea of Them. He had already hurt my best friend. But, I stayed supportive of Her. I just wanted my best friend to be happy.

They began texting each other, day and night – she couldn’t stop talking about him. Once a day when I saw Her in English, She would update me on all of the cringe-inducing things He would say to try and swoon over Her.

It worked. 

She was blindsided about the fact He didn’t want to be with Her in the first place. She was just a placeholder to Him. My best friend was being taken advantage of. 

Crack.

I thought I would always be supportive of whoever She loves, but I couldn’t. He robbed my best friend of Her first experience with true love.

Crack.

She’d always text me little updates about them, but of course, She leaves the juicy stuff for English so She can see my fake reaction. It’s that time again, time to hear what nonsense He’s said to Her that’s got Her head over heels in love.

“He asked me to be His girlfriend!”

Crack.

I never thought it would get this far. I thought at some point He’d go out and seek another girl for ‘love’ and keep Her in Her placeholder position.

Him and Her became Them. 

She’s beaming with exhilaration, and it radiates onto me. Only because I have to. 

Every day for months She comes in with Her updates. “We had our first kiss!” Fake excitement. “He met my mom!” Fake excitement. “We went on our first date!” Fake excitement. It was a never-ending cycle of what felt like a fake friendship. 

A fake friendship with my best friend.

The next semester came around and I was actually starting to like him. He even stuck up for me when people talked down upon me in front of Him.

Luckily, She and I had a class together again, this time World History. Of course, She came into second period gleaming with happiness and excited to tell me about today’s adventure with Him. I was actually starting to look forward to it; I didn’t have to put on a fake face anymore. 

One day She came in the room sobbing. I charged over to Her and immediately asked what’s wrong.

“It happened.”

Shatter.

I knew exactly what She meant. My mouth fell to the ground, I felt as if I had lockjaw.

Yet She still chose to stay with Him.

I was finally beginning to like him and support their relationship, I never thought He would ipurposely hurt my best friend. Especially in that way.

It’s my fault I pushed Her to talk to Him.

Junior year came around and they were still a couple, looking as happy as ever. But, I could never forgive him for what He did to my best friend. My grudge became bigger than ever, but this time, I’m not hiding it from Her. We had so many arguments our second to last year of high school because of Him.

She began telling Him about our disagreements, and He made Her block me, Her best friend.

Two years of friendship, gone. Maybe if I didn’t push Her, none of this would’ve happened.

I would still have my best friend.