Seven years ago when I moved in with my dad, I didn’t know what to do with my hair. Without my mom, I went through the journey alone by managing my texture myself and learning new things from the experience.

I lived in a house full of boys who picked their afros out and walked out the door, but I couldn’t do the same. It got tangled easily and all I would do is pull my hair out in all the attempts with a comb. These were times I wished I had a friend to guide me with 4B/4C hair.

Luckily, I made a friend in fourth grade within the first year when I moved in with my dad and I went over to her house all the time. Her mom also braided my hair once in a while and that made it easier to not have to do it every day. My friend gave me tips and showed me her own products because she had a similar hair texture to mine even though it was more loose and longer. From then on, I tried to practice hairstyles myself. 

Although, it was challenging because my hair was damaged from being permed constantly and going swimming every week during my childhood. This led it to be a combination of curls and coils with lots of straight pieces. My friends and others would comment on it, but I didn’t know how to feel because their remarks would fall on the line between giving advice and criticizing me.

“Messy.”

“Fried.”

“Untamed,” as if my hair was like a wild animal.

“Big, crazy hair.”

Frequently, I was misunderstood, especially by my friends who didn’t have curly hair. 

“I’m lighter than you and my hair is longer than yours.” “Just put it in a ponytail,” they said. That had to be the worst line ever. 

It saddened me that I couldn’t do the hairstyles some of my friends did because it was super thick and short. It felt like I was an outcast in the friend group. Straight blonde hair, wavy brunette and then there’s me. 

I couldn’t wear my hair out in the rain or get in a pool in my curly-state. When working out or being in humid areas, it gets frizzy and puffs up on its own. Not only that, but since I moved to this area, people seem to have good intentions but they’re basically clueless about what it means to have Black hair. 

I was insecure about my hair texture as well as my struggles. Soon, I discovered there’s so many hairstyles I can do like braids, sew-ins, twists, bantu knots, etc. This motivated me to learn how to take care of my hair on my own by watching tutorials and trying new products. With that, I made a lot of progress over the years. 

Eventually, I’ve learned to accept myself for who I am and it’s OK to be different. I’m proud to be a Black girl with thick hair because it makes me stand out with a tight curl pattern, and it’s a part of my beauty.