Kissing. It’s an experience everyone should have. The joy that seems to flood your whole entire body at just the thought of placing your lips against the lips of someone else is a novelty all on its own.

But just like everything else in this world, it has its time and place.

Despite what you may think, school is definitely not the time nor the place.

So please spare me from stumbling upon you and your lover, or whatever you chose to call each other, trying to stick your tongues halfway down each other’s throats. Trust me, I understand how tempting it can be. But please, get a grip.

Your hormones DO NOT control your decisions. Repeat after me, “My hormones do not control me.”

So however enticing those lips may be, take a minute to slow your heart and think long term.

What exactly is kissing this person going to do for you? Nothing important, right? Just a stupid impulsive kiss that you are probably going to regret later on.

Also, why in the world would you want to risk yourselves being caught by a teacher? Not only is it extremely awkward for you, but more so for the teacher who has to gaze upon your obscene visual. And to make it worse, you try to hide.

First of all, kissing is not silent. Just because you “can’t be seen” does not mean you aren’t heard. Just a peck of a kiss produces a sound that is vile to the ears of innocent bystanders. But a peck is bearable; a make-out session, not so much.

So if you want to place a sweet kiss and for an instant place your peers in an uncomfortable moment, that is…acceptable. Just remember to not overdo it.

Furthermore, another option to solve your undying need to touch your partner is to give a simple hug, or if you’re feeling dangerous, interlock your fingers. It is a sweet gesture that solves your problem.

But if you are still feeling like that just won’t do, let me drop some facts on you.

Just one 10-second French kiss can spread 80 million bacteria between two mouths. Let’s say you kiss for three out of the five minutes in passing period; that’s 180 seconds. With 80 million particles per 10 seconds multiplied by 18 (because that’s 180 divided by ten), that’s 1.44 billion little particles of bacteria exchanged.

Let’s just think about that for a second. 1.44 billion bacteria microbes are swapped in your mouth in three minutes. Why in the world would you want to do that at school where a toothbrush is most likely inaccessible? With the math involved, it’s revolting.

So before you lay one on them, think about it. Really think about it, and let the bacteria fill your brain before you get all kissy face.