I would’ve never thought track could open up a portal to a 24-hour visitation with my grandfather who I can’t physically see.

I didn’t appreciate time before, in fact, I remember the exact night when I decided I hated time because I didn’t understand it like I do now.

I learned reminiscing memories can make up for lost time with those I miss.

I wasn’t the usual, crazy, in-your-face 10-year-old all the time. At night I liked to have my bubble time, time where I could collectively organize my thoughts in my own personal space. On June 26, 2014, months after my grandpa passed, I asked my mom when I could see my grandfather again because I had no knowledge of his passing. She told me to talk to my dad about it. When I did, my dad looked at me in a way that I had never seen before.

He said, “Let me join you for bubble time.”

I took him to my favorite spot, where I could see the beauty of the stars at night as if I were in space myself.

With his hands on my shoulder and purposely avoiding any eye contact, my dad with a weak yet strong voice said to me, “You don’t know how much he loves you, Moo Moo, and I don’t ever want you to question his love for you.”

I wasn’t ready to hear his next words; at that moment I already knew something was going on that I couldn’t handle.

“I love him too Daddy and I know he loves me.”

“We can’t visit grandpa anymore, my father died baby girl.”

I broke into tears like sprinklers in an open field. I couldn’t think straight. I ran to the park down the street so fast, too fast for a 10 year old. When I got there, I sat on the swing and bawled. But all of a sudden, I had a flashback to the last thing my grandpa said to me.

“When I get sad, I like to run and I keep running while playing good memories through my head. It keeps me happy.”

I figured if I was going to run, I might as well put it to good use. I waited until seventh grade to try out for my middle school track team. I won first place in almost all of my meets with my relay teams for the 4 by 1.

I don’t run track just to run though, I run track because I share the same passion my grandfather had. As I run, I play memories with my grandfather in my head. We had the type of connection that was too strong to simply let go of, so I chose to hold onto it. It’s the only way I can keep him with me for advice, laughs and just about everything I still need him for. Track gives me back all that lost time with my grandfather, so for that I keep running.