If I was asked to describe high school, I wouldn’t pick the cliché go-to. High school is not a roller coaster, it is simply not that fun. High school is more like running a series of marathons back to back as a fat guy alongside 12 close friends. It’s tiring, but oh-so worth it.

I am coming to terms with the fact that this journey is ending and there is nothing I can do about it. I have to say goodbye, and I have to let go.

Eventually.  

I would say that I am never going to forget anything that has happened but I would be lying. In about 50 to 60 years, Alzheimer’s is probably going to set in and I won’t even remember my own name. So while I can still remember it, I am going to write it all down here.

To all of the people I call “friends” but never see outside of school: Thank you for being the people I could sit next to in a class full of strangers or the people I could hide away with on field trips. There are many levels of relationships in high school and you are the bittersweet ones.

To the ones I’ve burned along the way: I may joke and say I hate you and every part of you. But that’s far from the truth. Without you I couldn’t have become who I am. Now don’t get too big for your britches, you didn’t make me — you just changed me. I won’t ignore our good times and I will always try to let them overshadow our bad ones. We may never be an item again, but I do forgive you. Most importantly, I forgive myself.  

To Mr. Maybe Nots: I never ended up in a relationship with any of you and before, I may have been a little disappointed. After many nights of staring myself down in the mirror after what y’all may have said or spending weeks hating myself for still thinking about our time together, I thank you guys. I have grown into a young woman none of you could even dream about sharing a life with. I am my own person who knows what I want and expects nothing less. No longer will I compete with the next or the ex, because there’s no need for that. Especially because I am worth more than the world and so are they.

To 12 0’clock: I dread the day I last see you because I know our lives will be parting separate ways. It’s going to be hard without you in my life. You may not know it but you are someone I always look forward to seeing. No matter what you have always supported me and believed in me. Yes sometimes your thoughts seep out of your head at the wrong moment, but I wouldn’t trade your commentary for the world. Please never change yourself for the sake of others, because you are extraordinary. I love you girl, see you later.

To my daughter: Please stop calling me mom. Just kidding…maybe. If I had to describe you to someone, it would simply be: a lesson. You humble me every day. No matter what, you always keep a smile on your face and to someone like me who struggles to do that once a day — it’s amazing. Throughout the course of this year, you have brought a smile to my face when I needed it the most. I know sometimes it’s hard, trust me I get it. Whatever you do, don’t lose sight of yourself. I love you and I promise I’m going to come visit you in Minnesota.

To my fifth grade friend: It’s sad to think just how different we’ve become and how many times we’ve both let our anger get the best of us. But out of everybody, I know you will always be the first person to have my back no matter what. Whoever wrongs me, wrongs you. That loyalty was one of the only things I could rely on last year. I’m glad you’re finally getting to escape Texas but try to remember me bud. If I’m ever in Boston I promise to visit and maybe I can finally see you truly happy. I know you will probably be the first person to cut ties with everyone but just know I will always have your back like you’ve always had mine.

To Lil’-Newsie-Vert: I’m keeping this one short. You’re weird but the best kind of weird. Remember me bud and if you ever need help I’m one text away.

To Myles and Hayden: You guys have been the best additions to the newspaper. Myles, you’re going to do amazing in the military and I can’t wait to see you do those great things. Please never lose that smile for no one. I’m going to miss you bud, almost as much as Mrs. Pinkham. And Hayden, I’ll see you in college probably receiving many of my disapproving looks nonetheless. But for the record I will let NO one trash your reviews. Promise me one thing, if we ever find ourselves on another staff together, we will be each other’s number one allies.

To my second home, FarHar: After three years of being on staff it’s saddening to think I won’t have to worry about you again. Before high school started, I didn’t know who I would be or where I belonged but thanks to you I have discovered exactly what that is. I have been able to expand my writing abilities and found a passion for sharing others stories. During these amazing years, you have exposed me to many lessons and important people and I will forever be thankful for that. I can’t wait to see you expand and grow after me, good luck Farmers’ Harvest.

To the woman who started it all, Mrs. Pinkham: It seems as if I’ve known you longer than these short three and half years. Out of every person I have met during my time in high school you have been the most important by far. You have taken on the role of mentor, teacher and most importantly friend for me. I always knew that even if I didn’t have anyone to go to, you would always be there. It’s going to be rough for the first couple months of college without you, but I’m excited to do this one on my own. It seems as though we both grown into FarHar together, and just as we’ve finally got our groove down it’s time for me to move on. It’s amazing to think that I, the kid who fell asleep in journalism one every day and you, the student teacher, would run this paper together and that we would do it well. Thank you for being one of the best people on the planet. See you in a couple years Pinkham.

If I didn’t add you in this letter, it’s because I believe our story isn’t over and I don’t have to say goodbye. I have been completely changed due to this experience and I will forever be grateful for everything.

Goodbye high school, it’s been epic.