High school is finally over. You can breathe, no more deadlines. No more drama, just you and your decisions but I’m happy finally. I wasn’t Holly Golightly or Regina George; I couldn’t be a mean girl. My nature was to be with people like me, people who wanted to laugh all the time and complete their priorities. Parties weren’t my thing, so my expectation of becoming well-known in high school was extremely low.

I wanted to have a blast in high school and only a couple people made this happen for me the entire four years of self destruction. Before the destruction, I was an open-minded girl who looked to have the time of her life, chill or hype.   

Dear Kadren Johnson,

You’ve been my best friend for four years and I’m now finding out you’re captain of the football team; that’s sad. Toward the end of my high school experience you’ve made it so fantastic and I can’t repay you in any way.

You brought me the fondest memories and there is no price tag on happiness. You made me laugh, cry and fall in love with the idea of friendship all over again and I deeply care about you. Hopefully, after school, we can come back together and travel the world like we always talked about. You mean so much to me and I won’t lose touch with you. I love you.

Dear Katelyn Harper,

I hate that our friendship ended the way it did and I hope you see my love for you will always be there. You and I were inseparable. In the future, I know deep down we will become best friends again, but this time, our bond will be stronger.

I remember those nights we both were grounded on the same weekends but still managed to sleep over at each other’s houses. Trying to make new friends together because we felt the need to expand our circle was the worst decision we ever agreed to. But experiences like this only make us know next time to not fix something that isn’t broken.

High school only started to get better after junior year. Parents were allowing their kids to have more freedom and people were throwing more parties. I never went to any. I still had fun though during these days and I’ll likely miss the depression I had for whatever odd reason; it helped me grow and become the better person I am today.

People mistake high school to be this rowdy time for seniors and make it seem like we need to be controlled. But the truth is we don’t need anyone to control us. I know looking back on this time I should’ve done more exciting things. I should’ve snuck out and went to that big party. I should’ve broken curfew and loosened up. But I didn’t because I was so caught up on what would happen next, I didn’t want anything to happen to me. Now I don’t care.

Future me, have fun. Do all the things you missed out on; it won’t be the end of time if you loosen up. Please don’t hesitate to make your place look like whatever you want that’s in your head. You have all the cards on your table, cut them up and throw them in the trash because playing by the books can only take you so far.

This year has been filled with tears of sadness, laughter, happiness and overall everything I wasn’t expecting. The entire time in high school was magical. At the end of it all, I’m scared to leave but I’m not scared to finally breathe.